Dear Young Man: A Guide To Mentoring



I trust these tips will guide you so you can maximize the relationship:

1. A mentor is not a meal ticket. I don't provide money. I provide wisdom. Many people don't need mentors. What they need are business partners. Don't ask your mentor for financial favours. That will ruin the relationship. Rather ask for wisdom and guidance. Stop asking for money. If you get the wisdom, money is just a matter of time.

2. A mentor cannot solve all problems. I don't have a magic wand. I can talk to you about finance, leadership, purpose, business and excellence but I can't suggest who to marry to you. I don't know all things. I'm not the Holy Spirit. Certain things still remain your responsibility including the decisions you make. Your decisions are ultimately yours. Remember that even if I counsel you, your failures are strictly yours. I can't take responsibility for what you should. Recognize the expertise of the mentor.

3. Mentoring is a long term relationship. It is not short term. I have known my mentor for about 17 years and we are still going strong. Be ready to go the whole hog with me. You can't get all you need in one month or even one year. The best things in life unfold gradually.

4. Mentoring requires patience. You want something badly but you must be patient enough to get it. I'm going to try your patience- sometimes deliberately to know if you really want it that bad. I won't pick your calls sometimes. I won't respond to your mails at other times. All I'm trying to do is to stoke up the hunger within you. The hungrier you are, the easier it is to pass across timeless wisdom.

5. Mentees must curry the favour of the mentor. I have what you want and you must devise all means possible to get it from me. Stop visiting your mentors empty handed. I am not begging for a gift from you but if you want to collect something from me, you must release what is in your hands. Pro 18:16 (Message Translation) says a gift gets attention; it buys the attention of eminent people.

6. A mentor is not going to find you. You should find the mentor. I believe this is clear enough.

7. The greatest resource a mentor can give to the mentee is time. Use the time wisely. Ask questions. Observe quietly. But don't waste that time. Value it. Appreciate it. The greatest commodity that I have is not money. It's time.

8. A mentor is not your friend. Don't take that relationship for granted. I do not take my mentor for granted. I know his house but I don't barge in on him. I have access to him but I don't abuse that access. I don't call him at odd hours. I don't get too familiar. A mentorship can develop into a relationship later on.

So, dear mentee, a mentor helps you to prepare for the future. In the words of Isaac Newton, "If I have seen further than others, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” A mentor provides ideas, thoughts and insights that elevate your thinking. A mentor can push you to the next level. A mentor nurtures.  A mentor shares valuable life lessons.  A mentor shares their mistakes you so you don't have to make the same mistakes again.

I trust this guide helps you.

Bayo Adeyinka
June 17, 2017

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